Ultimate Cho

I'm a big fan of Cho's Q&A in his weekly magazine, Thuglak. He's an incredible satirist. His answers generally are short and crisp. There's a slang word in Tamil that best describes his answers: "nach". Here's one Q&A I recently found and loved every bit of it:

Q: 'அரசு அளிக்கும் இலவச நிலம் இரண்டு ஏக்கர்தானா என்று அளந்து பார்க்கக்கூடாது; ஒரு ஏக்கராகவும் இருக்கலாம்' - என்று கருணாநிதி கூறியுள்ளாரே?
A: வாக்குறுதி அளிக்கிற வாய்தான் எவ்வளவு வேண்டுமானாலும் நீளலாம்; நிலமெல்லாம் அப்படி நீள முடியாது; ஆகையால் அளந்து பார்க்கக் கூடாது; கலைஞர் சொல்வது சரிதான்.

Don't you love it?

MBA Admissions

About this time last year, I was frantically preparing my MBA Applications. Now, this year, at brahma muhurtham - 4AM (yet to hit the sack!) am peacefully writing this blog. No, I'm not doing MBA now. My applications got rejected at 4 out of the 5 universities I applied.

Everything that could go wrong went wrong. Wait... not quite. A successful career with considerable experience (5 years) and solid growth, a masters degree with a very good CGPA, a 7xx GMAT score, and neat recommendations were all the things that went right, infact quite right! Everything else went horribly wrong.

First, I shouldn't have been afraid that I was from a common applicant pool, namely Indian IT guy. It's nothing to be worried about. But I did. So, I cooked up an imaginary story that all I wanted to do was get into automotive manufacturing and hence I'm looking for an MBA to fill that void. WTF? Why automotive manufacturing when all I had previously done related to that field of study was religiously read Overdrive and Autocar magazines? For the record, I cooked up a really well-made story but the question followed by "WTF" above should have hit the admissions team as well. Then, I didn't have the maturity that I have now.

Second, I shouldn't have chosen my colleges based on feel good factor but should have ruthlessly employed my neurons to give me the answer. I applied to the following universities based on the following factors (the 'following factors' follows first!)
1. Ease of essays
2. Breathing space between applications to different universities
3. Reputation as I perceived it
4. Probability of landing a job once I graduate
5. Worst of the worst... the application fee (which varied from $75 to $250)

In the end, I applied to the following universities (which have absolutely no connect to each other if you ignore the 5 factors above).
1. Massachusetts Instt of Technology-Sloan School - LFM Programme
2. Northwestern University - Kellogg School - MMM Programme
3. University of Virginia - Darden
4. Univ of North Carolina - Kenan Flagler School
5. Purdue University - Krannert School

Except for the 5th one everyone sent a regret letter. UNC went one step ahead and said something like, "Our not admitting you doesn't mean that you won't be successful in life. But we measured your success in life based on your application blah blah blah.". I don't care. You didn't admit me. Don't give me any such crappy reasoning. Get lost. That doesn't sum up my attitude then. I lost the battle and life has given nothing to me while I gave more than 200% of what I could do. Am I not good enough? Is the end of the tunnel a dead end?

Life was struggle. I needed some time to recuperate from this. And I got plenty of them fortunately. A couple of months after the schools ditched me, I had an uncontrollable urge to vent out my feelings! So, I ditched my ex-employer and joined Microsoft. This is a welcome break and am actually doing the work that I've always wanted to do. Life is smooth. But my MBA journey might resume when in future if I could really see that I need an MBA to springboard me into the next level. Right now, it's see you later, alligator for MBAs and B-Schools.

The most popular Indian actor in Brazil

I was wasting my time in Orkut to see if there’s someone who I can argue with. I was visiting a Tamil forum and found someone from Brazil interested in knowing about an Indian song that’s fast becoming a super-hit in Brazil, courtesy YouTube. The song is ‘kallUri vaanil kaayndha nilaave…’ from the movie ‘pennin manadhai thottu’. That movie was a super-flop in Tamil and the song is probably unknown to , maybe, even the producer of the movie. But Brazilians seem to have a super-liking for that song. This particular video is one of the all time most viewed video in you tube with more than 1.7 million hits as of today. Looks like they’re fascinated by the colours of Indian dresses and fast steps of prabhu deva, the lead starrer in the movie. People seem to have a liking especially for prabhu deva’s bright yellow shirts and white pants which make a terrific cocktail with a red-hat! Few Brazilians even want someone in India to request Prabhu Deva to give a performance in Brazil. Probably he can try that and get some market back home.

So, the Brazilian made a request in the Tamil forum to understand the meaning of the song. Duly obliging, someone posted a reply with the meaning of the song and I translated another song – ‘take it easy urvasi’ from the movie ‘kaadhalan’ (Music Director: A.R. Rahman) after someone requested a translation for this song. It was real fun translating the song, let me assure you. This particular song is replete with Tamil slangs and stuff only Indians or Tamils can understand. Here’s the translation I gave. Text inside brackets are transliterations while the ones outside are simple translations.

[some humming.... similar to an Islamic prayer]

urvasi urvasi, take it easy urvasi
if you're skinny you don't need a pharmacy (Usi pOla udambirundhaa thEvaiyilla pharmacy)
urvasi urvasi take it easy urvasi
if you're skinny you don't need a pharmacy (Usi pOla udambirundhaa thEvaiyilla pharmacy)
to win in life have a "take it easy" policy (vaazhkkaiyil vellavE take it easy policy)
in your rainbow like life, youth is a fantasy (vaanavil vaazhkkaiyil vaalibam oru fantasy)
urvasi urvasi, take it easy urvasi iiiiiiiiiiiiii....

speak speak rathiye* rathiye*, there are 300,000 words in tamil (pEsadi radhiye
radhiye thamizhil vaarththaigal moonru latcham)
i'm here for you, can you speak at least two? (neeyadi gadhiye gadhiye rendu solladi kuraindha patcham)
to win in life, have a "take it easy" policy (vaazhkkaiyil vellavE take it easy policy)
in your rainbow like life {it’s not used as a simile but as a metaphor}, youth is a fantasy (vaanavil vaazhkkaiyil vaalibam oru fantasy)

if current gets cut when you're watching 'oliyum oliyum'(1), take it easy policy (oliyum oLiyum current pOnaa take it easy policy)
if you fail your exams even after proper study, take it easy policy (ozhungaa padichum fail aa pOnaa, take it easy policy)
if your dad calls you 'dhandach choru'(2), take it easy policy (dhaNdach chOrunnu appan sonnaa, take it easy policy)
if a bald headed goes to tirupati (3), take it easy policy (vazhukkaiththalaiyan thiruppathi pOnaa, take it easy policy)
urvasi urvasi, take it easy urvasi iiiiiiiiiiiiii....

listen to me rathi rathi, human body has 600,000 nerves (kELadi rathiye rathiye udambil narambugal aaru latcham)
do you know my dear lady, where's the love nerve? (theriyumaa sakhiye sakhiye(4), kaadhal narambu endha pakkam)
to win in life have a "take it easy" policy (vaazhkkaiyil vellavE take it easy policy)
in your rainbow like life, youth is a fantasy (vaanavil vaazhkkaiyil vaalibam oru fantasy)

[some humming by a lady...]

there's no love at first sight (kandadhum kaadhal vazhiyaadhu)
and your virginity isn't lost because someone looks at you (kaNgaLaal kaRpum vazhiyaadhu)
there's no cat that's a vegetarian (poonaiyil saivam kidaiyaadhu)
there's no man who's a raaman(5) (aangaLil raaman kidaiyaadhu)
without a revolution no good happens for a woman (puratchigal Edhum seyyaamal pennukku nanmai vilaiyaadhu)
we worship kannagi(6) with a statue(kannagi silai dhaan inguNdu)
but where do you find even a stone statue for seethai(7)?(seethaikku kallil silaiyEdhu?)

even after showing off, if the girl doesn't look at you, take it easy policy (filmu kaatiyum ponnu paakkalennaa, take it easy policy)
if an old lady sits next to you (in a bus), take it easy policy(pakkaththu seattula paatti ukkaandhaa, take it easy policy)
if a festival falls on a Sunday, take it easy policy (pandigaith thEdhi sundayil vandhaa, take it easy policy) - {coz you don't get an extra holiday!}
if your lady love claims you as her brother {after dating is over, that is!}, take it easy policy (azhudha kaadhali annaannu sonnaa, take it easy policy)
urvasi urvasi, take it easy urvasi
if you're skinny you don't need a pharmacy (Usi pOla udambirundhaa thEvaiyilla pharmacy)
to win in life have a "take it easy" policy (vaazhkkaiyil vellavE take it easy policy)
in your rainbow like life, youth is a fantasy (vaanavil vaazhkkaiyil vaalibam oru fantasy)

[Pure Tamil slang, ignore this line!](pagalile colourgal paaraamal, iruttile kannadiththenna payan?)

what's paradise if you don't have the freedom to enjoy? (sudhandhiram mattum illaamal, sorkkame irundhum enna payan?)
what's the use of attending classes if there are no figures(8) (figarugal yaarum illaamal vaguppugal irundhum enna payan?)
what's the use of dancing at 60 when you didn't dance at 20? (irupadhu vayadhil aadaamal aruvadhil aadi enna payan?)

(1)oliyum oLiyum = sound and light, a popular TV programme in the 90s
(2)pardon me, I can't translate dhandach choru, it's a tamil slang which elders in the house use to scold young people when they don't work after college! It actually means that the person is eating food without earning any penny
(3)tirupati is a popular pilgrimage in India where people shave their hair in the head as a token of devotion/love for the God
(4)sakhi = girl friend in pure tamil (not used colloquially)
(5)raman = another mythological character who was well known for his monogamy
(6)kannagi is a popular character in a tamil epic. she's known for single handedly challenging a king
(7)seethai is the wife of 'raaman' we say in point 5 above. she was calm and composed!
(8)figure = a good looking girl - college slang in Tamil Nadu!